Numb
by RocknRollZombie
Summary: If his brother was gone. Then why is he sitting across from him. David locks eyes with Mark. David just wants to feel numb to the pain of losing his brother.


"David."

David looked up sitting up in the chair his eyes rimmed red from crying something else his brother would had made fun of. He looked over at Darlene who pulled up a chair next him, and took the beer from his hand. He stared at his wife, he wiped at his eyes as he tried focusing on getting the right words out.

He thought about it, for the past two days. It hit him when he had to go to and tell his father, and sisters about Mark. He was tired, he needed to leave, he needed an escape, with out Mark in his life it felt like those three years when his brother no longer lived in the house when he barely turned 13. His mother screamed at him that he was in charged now, but that didn't give him the right to tell her to do just because his father is hardly home doing gods knows what sometimes, and the ungrateful bastard of his brother decided to up, and leave them.

While David no Kevin he remembered he was still Kevin during those three years before he met Darlene. He tried to at least act like Mark, but never could his mother scared him when she would go into her rages. Nursing the bottle he took back from Darlene he wonder how Mark dealt with their parents when they were still a complete dysfunctional family.

"Man David you look like shit, little brother."

He looked up, and felt his blood go cold no not possible his brother is dead, he watched as the heart monitor went flat, watched as Becky broke down in Darlene's arms. Watched as Mr. Conner had to pull Becky away, felt Mrs. Conner lead him out of the room. Felt his brother's cold skin, Felt no pulse when he rushed back into the room thinking it might be some stupid Prank that Mark is playing on him just like when they were kids.

He blinked once,twice but there he was his jerk of brother sitting in the chair across from him. He could hear Darlene calling his name, and the sound of a chair scraping the floor.

"Fine waste yourself away. Just cause all of sudden you think you can't get be your own self without Mark around, David" Darlene practically sneers at him as she walks out the kitchen.

"Really Davo, your gonna have to learn how to stand up for yourself against her." David listen as Mark leans back into the chair and props his feet onto the table. He sees his brother smile, Mark never really smiles it always seems to be a smirk on his face. David thinks he only ever seen Mark relaxed, and smiling around Becky. The blonde brought out a gentler side of his brother a side that he only see a handful times, but a lot when Mark was around Becky, and Harris.

David takes another sip of the beer the alcohol burning his throat a little. He hears amusement in Mark's voice,

"Easy there David, pretty sure you don't wanna end up with a crappy hangover, and Darlene biting your head off tomorrow. God knows that Becky gets on my case when I drink one, or two after I come home from work."

Mark rubs the back of his neck, and David knows that Mark does that when he nervous, or gets embarrassed. He wonder what his older brother could be nervous about. David notice that Mark isn't wearing his leather jacket, or any of his jackets. He remembers only a day has passed since Mark died the family where all gathered outside of Becky, and Mark's trailer.

Becky was still not responding to anyone, his sister-in-law completely shut down gripping Mark's leather jacket in her hands. He didn't know what came over him when he grabbed Mrs. Conner's arm stopping her from putting anything that belonged to Mark in the boxes that she brought along. Yelling at him that it's for the best if they donate Mark's clothes once he let go of her, and apologized. He kept his head down, and sat down on the tailgate of his brother's truck with Harris In his lap for the rest of the day while Mrs. Conner yelled at the rest of them to get to work. Darlene, and DJ were trying to get Becky to talk them. Mr. Conner sat next to him, and took Harris from him.

He shook his head as he stared at Mark he felt numb, he felt numb, just like Becky was feeling, or probably worse. Becky loved his brother, and Mark loved the blonde just as much back. He loved his brother but they were never really that close like Darlene, and Becky are.

He knows it, he knows it

Mark cared, and loved him in his own way. Whether it would have been when Mark made sure that he wasn't picked on when he started high school. He would spot his brother dropping off, or picking Becky up but always sending a look that promised a beating to some of the kids that would bother him. In those moments he wished they weren't related because even though Mark did that to make sure he was fine in school since his brother dropped out to work full time at 's shop. It made the older students sometimes tease him that he needed his brother to fight his battles. David knew that some of the really jerk-ish jocks stayed away from throwing him in lockers like all the other 'freaks' because of Mark. His brother's rebel reputation Kept him safe even when Mark was no longer in school.

He did stand up once just once for both Mark, and Becky. They already lived minnesota for half a month by then, some girls from what was supposed to be Becky's senior year started some rumor that the only reason Mark, and Becky got married was probably cause the drop-out(Mark) got miss straight As(Becky) pregnant. David felt anger for the first time in his life when some students would keep asking him if it was true. He snapped at one student Philip Smith one of the football players asked if Becky was pregnant, and if Mark was sure that the 'baby' was his.

He broken his hand that day after he punched the idiot who basically insinuated that Becky was a slut, and Mark was a total idiot for letting some girl rope him in. He called Mark later that day, Mark asked him if he broke the dumb-ass's nose, or if he really deal some damage like he himself would have done. David knew that to be true, if Mark would have been present when that happened then Philip Smith would have probably have had more than just a bloody nose. The jock probably would been a bloody mess.

"Davo, Davo,David, David, ..Kevin."

David eyes locks with Mark's eyes. He blinks because to him it almost seems like Mark is fading becoming transparent. David knows his vision is becoming blurry, whether it be that he drank too much, or probably the tears that are starting to roll down his face again. He wants his brother back, he wants Mark mocking him again, he wants to see Mark playing with Harris again. He wants to see Mark, acting lovey dovey with Becky when his brother thought no one was watching.

Most of all David just wants to feel numb to the pain.


End file.
